On September 3rd (just a few days ago) I went to work with the following stones in my pockets: Shungite, Blue Quartz, Lodestone and a Quartz Point. Oh! I think I had a small piece of Pyrite as well. I set out that day with full intentions of letting go and releasing all the junk in my life that I no longer needed and positive vibes in manifesting my future life (which I am already living inside my head…lol). At the time I suppose I had no idea what I had done to myself besides the fact I was seeking assistance in moving forward, in life. I had no idea what was about to happen.
That evening, while on my way home I suddenly felt a bit of sinus pressure coming on and some sensitivity in my lungs and I tried to remember if I had been in contact with anyone sick and I just couldn’t figure out what would cause me to start feeling poorly in this way. By the end of the evening I knew I would call in sick the next day.
The following day, Monday, I began to feel so crappy and drained that I didn’t even have the energy or interest in writing or any other creative ideas I had set out for myself on my day off. On top of this, I couldn’t even take a nap, as much as I wanted to, and so I spent the day just laying around, tinkering, not even eating, and feeling a void. That afternoon I even attempted to call my Mom in CA (who has dementia) and her cell phone was OFF. So I called the front desk of the Assisted Living Center she lives in and the woman basically dissed me and told me that Mom doesn’t even need her cell phone anymore. WHAT?? I just did not know how to react to this information, I was in shock! I call my Mom every day, and they KNOW this! The thought of never being able to talk to my Mom again sent me in a downward spiral of feeling sadness, despair and loss.
Tuesday I woke up feeling a bit better than the day before but along with that I was feeling like I needed to cause some drastic change in my life in order to create change in my life. What would make me feel this way?? I decided that I was ready to DIE. I lay down on the couch and told my spirit guides that I had nothing left to live for, and being disconnected from Mom, well, what else do I even have? My dreams that I have been walking towards for years don’t ever seem to come true, the p/t job I have has become more a pain in the butt than what it’s worth and honestly my life suddenly seemed void. Void of everything. What is there now? What can I look forward to? Maybe death is the answer.
I told my spirit guides “I am ready to die. There is nothing here for me and I am not afraid of death so just end it, now”. I felt like I really had no reason to continue on with anything. Of course, I was still feeling under the weather and now it’s progressed to constantly blowing my nose and this wasn’t helping my mood, either.
Later that afternoon I suddenly felt a shift in energy. I’m not sure what caused it, but my mindset started to change even without my consent. No! I was ready to quit and go away somewhere and do something else but the more I looked around there seemed to be a bunch of dead ends. This is the moment of truth when you realize you are stuck where you are and when this happens all you can do is sit, and wait.
I decided to pull up my Pleiadian Energy Workbook and learn something new. I needed something NEW, and if you cannot change anything externally … you can always change YOURSELF. I found and practiced the meditation to connect with a higher version of my higher self because when you can integrate with higher dimensions and consciousness it also raises your own knowledge and energy. Did you know there is more than one version of your higher self?? I did not know this! There are higher versions of yourself in every dimension starting from the 5th dimension all the way up through the 9th dimension, and each time you are ready to integrate a new beingness into your 3d life your next higher self is just hanging out there, waiting for you to ask to connect.
And so that brings me to this morning when I woke up, remembering all of the ranges of emotions I felt in the past two days, remembering last night I connected with a beautiful higher version of myself to allow me a new experience a new way to view life and find new awarenesses and new expansions of gifts, and as I lay there in my bed trying to decide how to start my day I looked up at the ceiling and I said out loud “Well I suppose there is death, and then there is everything else. In life we have choices whereas in death there is only flow”.
I think I will put away the Shungite, for now. 😉