I will be forever grateful to the Las Vegas desert as it not only was my home for almost 30 years but it also freed me in so many ways. Always providing career opportunities it allowed me to expand and grow in ways I could have never imagined and when times became leaner there always seemed to be an invisible magical bridge to take me across the troubled waters; I always seemed to stay afloat. I think people envied me because things always seemed to work out in my favor; something that they did not understand. I suppose it has everything to do with maintaining a positive mindset and having enough confidence to do what you’ve got to do, and know that you can succeed.
During a transitional time I started hiking a lot more because it gave me an opportunity to get away from myself and my sometimes self-consuming uncertainties about the future. Amidst a career change and a bit of confusion the desert always welcomed me with open arms; it allowed me time and space to detach from myself but also learn more about my true self rather than the image and expectations everyone else had placed upon me. In the beginning my hiking meditations were a means to run away from the constraints of my mind and “to” something else, although I had no idea what I was running to. I would hike as fast as I could to get to the top of the mountain so that I could feel a sense of freedom and accomplishment and a feeling of being on top of the world. I did not yet know how to slow down and it took one comment from my energy healing teachers that made me think: “WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM?”
I suppose I was running from myself.
I ran from myself because I was seeking a connection to something “all knowing” because I thought that “all knowing” was something separate from myself. My mother’s dementia did not help matters, either, because at the time I had no idea I was experiencing another version of life through her as well. Crazy thought, right? You have no idea ❤
As my 2 year anniversary approaches (the rattlesnake!) I keep reflecting back to where I was at that time; rushing towards something I had no idea how to reach and all I really needed to do was SLOW DOWN. A busted nose worked quite well for me because it was after the rattlesnake incident that I began hiking with slow yet sured steps and learned mindfulness and awareness techniques which taught me how to pay attention to all the little things around me, which ultimately led me back to myself.
The lesson here is learning how to remove yourself, from yourself. Realize that although you are a part of something much greater than yourself you are also just as much detached from it. You do not have to own your experiences! You do not have to be burdened with the emotional burdens of the world, either. What’s yours is not mine! Live it, enjoy it, embrace it!
…. and then thank it for the experience, and let it go ………………… ❤