The term “Letting Go” has many definitions, but it is a crucial decision that many of us need to make on our journeys to emotional freedom. Even for me, this has been one of my biggest challenges in life. So why do we hold onto things, anyway? Why do we attach ourselves to people, and even objects? More importantly, why do we attach ourselves to things that continue to bring us misery and pain? This is when making the decision of letting go is very important. We must choose between misery or happiness; so why is this decision so difficult to make? For some it is fear, for others change. FEAR OF CHANGE. Many people are very slow to allow change in their lives and there are also many more who fear it. But why?
First let’s take a look at why we “hold on” to things in the first place. Let’s take relationships, for example. Somebody has wronged you and you hold a bitter grudge against them for their actions. “How dare they!” are the words that fill your head. What’s worse is that in many cases you are not allowed an opportunity to defend yourself, seek revenge or even speak your mind. Thoughts and feelings of anger, deceit and judgment overwhelm us as we play the scene over and over in our minds. There is a loss of power. There is no closure! Meanwhile, we are unknowingly causing ourselves continued emotional pain which can actually manifest into physical symptoms, and physical pain as well. “How do I make it stop?” This is when “letting go” is the only way we will be able to get past this self-sabotage; it is up to US to decide that we no longer want to feel this way, that we no longer want this to have power over us, our minds, our hearts.
The first step is making the decision that you no longer want it to have power over you. Congratulations! The next step is to forgive yourself for only being human, as we humans have tendencies of having our feelings hurt by others. Embrace these emotions that you have been experiencing, and then acknowledge the fact that these emotions DO NOT RULE YOU, they are only temporary, they are simply what you are feeling for the time being and you have the choice of letting go. Next, and most difficult, is forgiving the person who hurt you. You do not have to do this directly, but it is crucial in your recovery. Try removing yourself from the situation and observe it as a third person. Realize that this other person has reasons of their own for acting out and hurting you in such a way, and most likely they were simply acting out to protect themselves because they too, are facing personal battles that we may know nothing about. The bigger picture here is that it really isn’t all about “you” – although it feels like it is. Most of the time this other person is acting out of jealousy, resentment, low self-esteem, or FEAR. Fear of being hurt, perhaps? After we are able to rise above this particular situation we can look at it from an entirely different perspective. We are offered an opportunity to realize that this incident triggered something inside of US that needed to be healed; most of our negative emotions arise because we need to resolve some deeper issues of our own. But in order for us to heal from this and “let it go” we must allow it to come to the surface and release itself (either through writing it down, expressing it to a loved one, or simply crying) and this in itself is not something many of us are eager to do as we really do not want to relive it, but it is necessary for our own emotional freedom.
Life is a series of trials and lessons. When we get stuck in our mental miseries thinking that only bad things happen to us we are only allowing more bad things to happen to us. Life is also full of many wonderful things, if we allow ourselves to see and experience them. And in the art of “letting go”, one thing at a time, we will learn to free ourselves from emotional attachments and will be able to move forward in life with more peace, love and happiness. Life is a journey ~ embrace it!